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Ed... Pass it On.../Script
sign outside the house reads "Wait to be Seated." Jimmy: "Wait to be seated?" Sarah: "What's that supposed to mean?" Jimmy: "They always say that at restaurants, Sarah!" Eddy: like a waiter "Welcome to Ponce de la Eds. I'll see if we have a free table." pretends to glance at a book. "So sorry, but we're booked full." Sarah: him "You didn't even open your eyes, you fathead!" Jimmy: "Wait, Sarah. Let me show you how it's done." steps up to Eddy. "Ahem. Surely you must have one table open." greases the waiter with a dollar bill. with a gasp of pleasure, opens the doors and shoves Sarah and Jimmy into the house. Eddy: "Here's two more for you gar con!" snickers as he stares at the dollar. Edd: the duo "May I? There we go." places two menus on the table. "We have a variety of creations to please every pallet. I'll return momentarily to take your order." moves on to Jonny and Plank's table. Nazz: "What do you feel like, Kevin? Are you gonna get the Ed kabobs, or the Eddy pizza, or the Double Dee spaghetti?" Kevin: his menu "I'm ordering the barf bag." Nazz: "Where's that on the menu, Kevin?" Edd: "Well have you decided on anything, Jonny?" Jonny: "Don't ask me, Plank's treating!" turns to Plank. Plank: Jonny: "Whaddya mean an Ed Turkey a la King for you and a couple of breadsticks for the bald kid?" signals Edd with a piercing whistle. Rolf: "Rolf would like the Ed steak. Rare." Nazz: "And I'll have a salad, a la Double D, Double D." Sarah: "And I'll have an Ed shake. Easy on the froth, and make sure it's cold." Edd: "My! Uh, coming right up." tries to make his way into the kitchen, which is completely covered in food. "Ed?" Ed: his friend back with a carrot "Oh no you don't! Too many cooks spoil the galoshes, Double D!" Edd: "Very well. Here's a few orders to fill, Chef Ed." hands Ed the order slip. Ed: "I will wake him up!" few minutes have passed, and Sarah and Jimmy are bored. Sarah: "That's it, I've had it! Let's go home and eat, Jimmy!" Eddy: desperate "No no, wait! Um–" kitchen door bursts open and a lidded plate marked for Jonny comes out. Edd: "Nice presentation, Ed!" Jonny "And here you go, one Ed Turkey a la King!" Jonny: "Oh boy, I'm starving!" Edd: "Bon appétit." lifts the lid. Jonny: "FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!" Edd: "Ed! You were supposed to use a real turkey!" has cooked himself. He lies naked on the plate, surrounded by fixings and an apple in his mouth. Ed pours a ladleful of gravy onto the "turkey dinner." Ed: "Stuffing anybody?" slams the lid down on the plate. Eddy: "Idiot!" Sarah: "C'mon, Jimmy!" Jimmy: "I'm so repulsed!" kids begin to trickle out. Sarah: "This place is a dump." Eddy: them "Oh come on! How about a two-for-one–" door slams shut, and he runs into it. "This should've worked! This scam always worked for my brother! Everything always worked for my brother." Ed: "Let me say this about that." kicks him off the plate. Eddy: "You know why they worked for him? 'Cause people respected my brother! And they respected me, 'cause I was–" downhearted "–with my brother." Edd: "Don't feel bad, Eddy. The truth is, the others have always held you with the utmost, unequivocal, and deepest sincerity of disrespect." Eddy: "Why if he was here, I'd show them who's boss." idea, in the form of a hammer, comes down on Eddy's cranium. Eddy: "That's it! My brother's coming home! At least that's what we'll tell them." Ed: with spatters of gravy all over him "Wait till he sees how much I have grown!" Edd: "Deception, Eddy? Is that how you plan to garner respect?" Eddy: chuckling "What planet are you from?" ---- Eds have hung a bunch of banners, streamers, and balloons from Eddy's house welcoming his brother home. Edd: "Be careful Ed." Eddy: "The kids'll be eating out of my hands in no time." Edd: "Speaking of hands, Eddy, you might want to break away from tradition and actually lend a hand here!" Eddy: "No problem, Double D." applauds. Kevin pulls up. Kevin: "What's with the balloons? You dorks getting married?" waits a beat. "To each other?" Eddy: "Read the sign, giggles. My big brother's coming home today." smile drops from Kevin's face. Kevin: "No way." Ed: "And it works for him!" Kevin: sweating "So tell me. Those stories bout your brother–are they true?" Eddy: "Are they true? HEY GUYS! KEV HERE WANTS TO KNOW IF THOSE STORIES ABOUT MY BROTHER ARE TRUE!" Kevin: "Ssh!" Eddy: "Tell you what I'm gonna do. I'll introduce you to him so you can ask him yourself. Should be here pretty soon." Kevin: "Maybe some other time. Gotta blow!" peels off. Eddy: goodbye "Is that respect or what?" Ed: "A whole box of it!" Edd: "That wasn't respect, Eddy! What I witnessed was fear." Eddy: "R-E-S-P-E-E-K. Respect, Double D." ---- speeds down the lane. He goes past Jonny and Plank, who are fishing. Jonny: "Fishing's a gas, huh buddy?" blows past. "Kevin? We almost caught you for supper, speedy!" runs along the top of the fence, somehow keeping pace with Kevin. Kevin: "Take a hike! I ain't telling ya nothing!" Jonny: "Ooh, Kevin knows something we don't know, buddy! Hey, tell us your secret, Kevin! C'mon! We won't tell anyone! We're loners!" whispers in their ears. "It's about time! Hey Plank, Eddy's brother's coming home!" Kevin: "You didn't hear it from me." runs out of fence and falls. Kevin speeds off. A chicken climbs up him. Rolf: "Jonny the woodboy. Always with this head of yours there are so many jokes, yes? Rolf respects your cluelessness." moves to leave, but Jonny pulls him back. Jonny: "Wait, Rolf!" whispers in Rolf's ear, and Rolf loses his smile. Rolf: "Jiminy! Eddy's brother returns to the cul-de-sac? Rolf must protect his fold!" ---- runs home. Passing the creek, he spots Nazz lounging and yanks her off her raft. Rolf: "She who loathes in the name of vanity! Hurry, as judgement day approaches!" passes the rumor on. Nazz: "For real? Eddy's brother is so rad! I better get my gear!" sails away, excited. ---- paces in front of his house, bored by the lack of attention. Ed: "Who's up for Pin the Tail on the Donkey?" Eddy: "Shut up, Ed. Where the heck is everybody?" Edd: smug "Well, it seems your rumor of your brother's return in order to gain respect is as contrived as your spelling of the word, Eddy. I won't say I told you so–" blindfolded, pins the tail on Edd's bottom. Edd: "YOW!!!" Ed: "It wasn't me, Double D!" lands on Kevin's bike. Eddy: laughing "Nice one, Ed." drops off Edd. Kevin: "Tell your brother, I did you a favor, okay?" Eddy: laughing "Like he cares!" Kevin: "Okay. Well, how about you and your bro come over to my house and watch TV or something? I mean, if he wants." Eddy: whispering "It's working, Double D!" turns to Kevin, composed. "Gee, I don't know. My brother hates losers." Kevin: down "Oh. Right." Eddy: "But tell you what, Kev-O. Me and the boys'll come over and see if it's cool enough for my bro to hang at." Kevin: "You'd do that for me?" Ed: "Party at Kevin's house!" Eddy: "Now go home and make sure there's lots of snacks!" Edd: shocked "That was unbelievable." Ed: "Party at Kevin's house!" Edd: "Why would Kevin invite us to his house?" Eddy: "R-E-S-P-E-E-K. Respect, Double D." Ed: "Party at Kevin's–" chicken crows. "Chickens!" has fortified his house with walls, a moat, and a drawbridge. Ed: a chicken "Would you like to come to a party and revel sprightly?" Rolf: "No party for Rolf's fowl!" Eddy: "Your chicken too good for my brother's party, Rolf?" Rolf: scared "Has he arrived to our humble cul-de-sac?" Eddy: "He's on his way, Stretch." Rolf: "PLEASE INFORM EDDY'S BROTHER–" runs inside and the bridge slams shut. He pokes his head through the fence. "–THAT ROLF'S CHICKENS EXIST NO LONGER!" squeezes back in. Edd: "And what was that all about?" Nazz: "Eddy! Oh Eddy! Up here, dude!" is on the roof of her house, decked out like a mountaineer. "Can I, like, talk with you?" Eddy: "Me?" starts to descend. "Nazz wants to talk–" lands on him. Nazz: "Oops." gets up. "Say, Eddy, can you tell your brother I'm ready to climb any time he is?" Edd: "Climb?" Eddy: "Did you see that? Now chicks are falling for me, Double D! It's working!" Edd: "Eddy, wait!" Eddy: "My brother's making it work, Double D! Something's actually working for me! Party at Kevin's house!" Edd: "Eddy, your brother's legacy has lost control! Do you hear me, Eddy? It's changing with each interpretation!" ---- clump of grass crawls up to a front door. Rolf's hand reaches out and knocks. Kevin opens it fearfully. Kevin: "Eddy's brother?" fear is palpable. Rolf: "Hallo?" looks down, disgusted. "I must see the second born Ed-boy." ---- the living room, Eddy is in the seat of honor, sipping from a glass. Rolf kneels before him. Rolf: "Rolf does not mean to intrude, lesser of the two offsprings, but Rolf humbly offers Eddy's brother this token." looks in his bag. Eddy finishes his drink and calls to Kevin. Eddy: "Hey Kev, fetch me s'more soda, will ya?" Kevin: "When's your brother gettin' here, anyway?" glass lands on his head. Ed: chips "Got any dip?" Kevin: "I'll dip you, ya dork." enters the kitchen. Edd: "I suppose a glass of water would be out of the question then?" Rolf: "Silence! It was Rolf's turn to grovel!" returns to his position at Eddy's feet. "As Rolf was saying, Rolf offers this gift to Eddy's brother." holds up a woolly vest. "A vest made from the hair of Papa's back." perks up. "In exchange for the safety of Rolf's unoffending chickens!" Ed: "Cool!" Eddy: to get the vest out of his face "Yeah, sure whatever." Rolf: away "Thank you, Ed-boy! And thank your brother, yes, thank him!" soot-covered Nazz climbs out of Kevin's chimney. Nazz: "YO-DEL-LAY-HEE-YO-DEE-LAY-HEE-YO-DEE-LAYYYY-HEEEEE YO-DE-LAY-HE-YOU-DE-LAY-HE-YO-DE-LAAYYYY YO-DE-LAYYYY-HEEEEE!!!" glass in the place breaks; even Ed shatters. Kevin: "Nice lungs, Nazz." ball hits Eddy. Jimmy: the window "There's the ball, Sarah!" Ed: "Hiya, baby sister!" walks in to get the ball. Eddy: antagonized "YOU DARE HIT THE BROTHER OF EDDY'S BROTHER?!?!?" Sarah: "Brothers are stupid." Eddy: "Oh yeah? Why don't you tell him that to his face, then?" kids gasp. Sarah: "Fine, so. Where's his face?" the strength of this one statement, the mood in the room changes. Kevin: "Where is he, man?" Rolf: "Rolf smells something, and it's not Papa's back hair vest!" Nazz: "Is he coming, Eddy?" stands silenced. Edd: "Eddy, everything's become distorted, muddled, and mixed up! End this charade! Now is the time to gain that respect!" Eddy: nervous "Okay, I guess I should tell you he ain't showin' up." kids surround him angrily. "Today! 'Cause he missed the bus!" smile drops from Edd's face. "Yeah! And he'll be at my house tomorrow at lunch!" Kevin: and scared once more "Awesome. Can we come over?" Rolf: "Rolf will join you, Kevin." Nazz: "Cool. I heard he's so strong." Jimmy: "Is he, Eddy?" Eddy: "Yep." Sarah: "I bet! Come on, Jimmy." drags Jimmy out of the house. Eddy, with his arm on Kevin, chuckles ---- Eds are in Eddy's room. Ed and Eddy wear smiles, while Edd knows they haven't much time. Eddy: out the window "They're still sitting out there. What sheep!" Edd: "Your rumor is a monster feeding on everyone's insecurities! Stop it before it's too late!" Eddy: "It's just a little fib, Double D! Kevin would pound the living daylights out of me if I told him my brother ain't showing up!" Ed: clueless "Did he miss another bus, Eddy? Buses can be so cruel!" Deep Voice: "And hard on the caboose, if you know what I mean." Edd: scared "Um Eddy, there's someone at your door." Eddy: his friends as a shield "It's probably Kevin. I'm ready for him." waves a baseball bat. pushes the closet door open, revealing an adult, standing tall. The face is hidden, but the body is big. Eddy: sweating "Uh oh. It's my brother!" Ed and Edd: joyful, Edd scared "Your brother?!" Eddy: nervous "Hey bro, good to see ya! Back so soon?" grins, then breaks into fearful wailing. "HONEST, IT WASN'T ME! THEY'RE ALL LYING, I SWEAR! Can I get you anything, bro, huh?" voice cracks. "Can I?" Eddy's Brother: "Get me a triple-scoop banana split sundae with chocolate sauce, marshmallows, lots of nuts." Eddy: "Hey, wait a minute! What happened to that lactose thing you–" Eddy's Brother: "See this?" holds a fist to Eddy's face. ---- at Eddy's door, beckons to his friends. Edd: "Hurry! Hurry! I'll get the ice cream!" Eddy: "I'll get the chocolate sauce!" Ed: "And I'll get the nuts!" runs through the wall. Edd: "Wait, don't forget the marshmallows!" follows Ed. Eddy's Brother: "Hurry it up!" steps out of the closet, revealing it was just Sarah on Jimmy's shoulders. Sarah: "Watch what you're doing, Jimmy!" Jimmy: afraid "It's these darn stilts! They make me all clumsy, Sarah!" Ed: "Hey..." is at the door, peering in on his baby sister and her friend. "What flavor ice cream did you want?" clears her throat and puts on the deep voice again. Sarah: "Chocolate." Ed: "Okey-dokey. Your brother wants chocolate, Eddy!" runs to the kitchen. and Jimmy look at each other and laugh. Sarah: "Brothers are such idiots!" Category:Season 3 Category:Season 3 Scripts